Posts Tagged house

Key Senator Urges Obama To Push Foreclosure Relief In State Of The Union – Huffington Post

WASHINGTON — Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.) is urging President Barack Obama to pledge a new round of foreclosure relief during his State of the Union address next week. In a letter to the president obtained by The Huffington Post, Merkley said the administration’s current anti-foreclosure programs have proven woefully inadequate, and pushed for a more thorough program to keep families in their homes.

“A record one million families lost their home to foreclosure last year,” Merkley wrote. “Next week, Mr. President, you will have the attention of the nation. I urge you to use this opportunity to renew efforts to tackle the national foreclosure crisis.”

Merkley’s call for presidential leadership on foreclosures comes as infighting among federal regulators appears to have stalled out key reforms to the bank divisions that work with troubled borrowers and process foreclosures.

The FDIC has been pushing to impose new requirements on the operations of those divisions, which are known as mortgage servicers. The agency has been engaged in heated negotiations with other regulators at the Federal Reserve and the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC). According to a source familiar with the negotiations, the Fed had initially opposed the plan, but agreed to support the rules after a few weeks of negotiations. The OCC, however, which is currently responsible for regulating the largest mortgage servicers — Wells Fargo, JPMorgan Chase, Bank of America and Citigroup — has resisted those rules. The OCC has never publicly sanctioned a mortgage servicer, despite widespread court findings of servicer fraud in the foreclosure process.

The Treasury Department, which had supported the new rules, had expected an agreement between agencies by Friday, Jan. 14, according to a spokesman. That anticipated agreement has not yet come to fruition.

But Treasury itself is engaged in a delicate dance on foreclosure policy — defending the foreclosure prevention program criticized by Merkley, even as it urges sweeping reform of the bank divisions that participate in that program.

“The goal of the [Home Affordable Modification Program] was to prevent three to four million foreclosures,” Merkley wrote, “but to date, fewer than 600,000 homowners have been approved.”

Merkley is a persistent advocate for financial reform, and co-authored a key provision of last year’s Wall Street overhaul legislation known as the Volcker Rule, which bars banks from speculating with taxpayer money.

At a Wednesday meeting of the Mortgage Bankers Association, Cindy Gertz, Treasury’s Director of Operations for HAMP, praised the servicers involved in the Treasury plan, noting that they had ramped up staffing in order to deal with the foreclosure flood. Treasury spokeswoman Andrea Risotto told HuffPost that Gertz’s praise for servicers was restricted to HAMP, and not to any other servicer activities. But servicer abuses within HAMP have been widely documented, with borrowers frequently making good on loan modification arrangements only to be foreclosed on.

Risotto noted that Treasury has a “compliance agent” that inspects servicers once a month to make sure banks are implementing the program correctly. Nevertheless, servicer employees have admitted to fraudulently robo-signing hundreds of foreclosure documents a day as a matter of ordinary procedure. Treasury has never sanctioned a servicer for violating HAMP rules, and maintains that it has no authority to do so, because the program is voluntary for banks.

But as Treasury defends servicers with one hand, it is also demanding fundamental reform of the servicer industry with the other. On Tuesday, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner called for an overhaul of the way servicers are paid, arguing that the status quo is a “broken” system.

Regulatory agencies are debating whether to include standards for servicer conduct in new “skin-in-the-game” regulations for the mortgage bond market. The Wall Street overhaul legislation contains a provision requiring banks to retain at least five percent of the default risk whenever they sell mortgages off to investors. But there’s a key exception to the rule: for standardized, top-quality loans, banks will not have to retain any of the risk. The FDIC hopes that by including mortgage servicing rules in the definition of a standardized, top-quality mortgage, they can create a new gold standard for mortgage lending that is immune from current abuses.

But these new regulations would only reform the way that servicers operate with regard to new mortgages. They will not help the millions of borrowers already trapped in unaffordable loans, nor will they provide a way to manage the widening gyre of fraud allegations and other improprieties that pose massive potential losses at the nation’s too-big-to-fail banks.

In a speech Wednesday, FDIC Chair Sheila Bair warned, “Chaos in mortgage servicing and foreclosure is introducing a dangerous new uncertainty into this fragile market.” Bair suggested creating a foreclosure disaster fund akin to the BP oil spill fund that would compensate wronged homeowners and investors, while capping liabilities for big banks.

Merkley wants to find a solution that deals with homeowners already facing foreclosure (and bank fraud). He’s pushing for a six-point program to overhaul the current foreclosure system, including new standards for servicer conduct and new legal mechanisms to provide debt relief to deserving families.

Central to the program is a reform of the bankruptcy code, dubbed by Merkley as “lifeline bankruptcy reform.” Mortgages are currently excluded from the bankruptcy process, so even if borrowers declare bankruptcy — a process that is difficult to qualify for and comes with serious financial penalties — they cannot get debt relief on their mortgage. By making mortgages subject to renegotiation in bankruptcy under the supervision of a judge, Merkley hopes to establish a process that would allow borrowers to remain in their homes without simply granting a get-out-of-debt free card to everyone whose home value has declined since the collapse of the housing bubble.

“This makes much more sense than paying for modifications,” economist Dean Baker, co-Director of the Center for Economic Policy and Research, told HuffPost. Under HAMP, the Treasury pays servicers $1,000 to implement each loan modification, plus an additional $1,000 for every year that borrowers keep paying on the modified loan.

A similar program for farm loans was adopted during the mid-1980s and helped thousands of family farms avoid foreclosure, and a recent IMF report suggested bankruptcy reform as an effective solution to the U.S. mortgage mess. The same report found that the high rate of foreclosure may be responsible for between 1 percent and 1.25 percent of the U.S. unemployment rate, currently at 9.4 percent.

Mortgage bankruptcy reform was endorsed by then-Sen. Barack Obama during his presidential campaign, but died in the Senate in Spring 2009 amid weak backing from President Obama. Senate Republicans, who pushed for bankruptcy to be the appropriate way to deal with faltering megabanks, did not believe that consumers should receive the same treatment. Several bank-friendly Democrats also opposed the bankruptcy overhaul, prompting Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) to fume that banks “frankly own the place,” referring to Congress.

Merkley also calls for an end to the “dual-track” system, in which mortgage servicers begin the foreclosure process even as they negotiate loan modifications with troubled borrowers. The system allows banks to foreclose as quickly as possible if the modification falls through, but also leads to many unnecessary foreclosures as banks improperly continue with foreclosures on successful modifications. Merkley would also require servicers to establish a single individual to contact borrowers, preventing paperwork mix-ups and other bank confusion which lead to improper foreclosures, and establish an independent party to review whether banks have followed the rules on foreclosures.

OCC policy already bans the dual-track system unless the process is required by mortgage bond agreements, but the OCC is yet to enforce that ban with any sanction against banks that violate it.

The potential impact of other elements in Merkley’s plan is less clear. He would implement a “short-refinance” plan, which would allow homeowners who owe more on their loan than their house is worth to refinance into a new loan at the current value of their home. Government agencies would then pay the existing bank to expunge the remaining debt levels. But Baker was skeptical that such a program would be workable. With home prices down dramatically nationwide from their bubble-level peaks, even outright housing speculators will be sure to seek relief, triggering a government payout to the very banks who caused the problem by lending recklessly in the midst of a bubble. “There is not going to be any plausible means test that you can put in place that will prevent almost anyone in this situation from taking advantage of the opportunity,” Baker said.

Merkley would also provide a $5,000 tax credit for first-time homebuyers in an effort to boost home sales. But Baker said such an arrangement is unlikely to be an efficient mechanism to lift the struggling housing market.

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King’s Day Was a Long Time Coming – Patch

City offices, schools and libraries will all be closed Monday, the 25th year that Martin Luther King Jr. Day has been celebrated as a federal holiday. Some Beach Cities residents may now take the holiday for granted, but it took legislators nearly two decades to pass it into law.  

Rep. John Conyers of Michigan introduced the first legislation seeking to establish a federal holiday in memory of Dr. King’s January birthday just months after the civil rights leader was assassinated in 1968.

As petitions in support of the holiday were gathered, individual states (Illinois, Massachusetts, Connecticut) began to pass their own legislation celebrating the holiday.

The holiday proposal was presented to Congress three years after Conyers first introduced the concept. And that’s where the bill sat for eight years.

Coretta Scott King testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee and the Joint Hearings of Congress in support of the bill in 1979. But a few months later, the U.S. House of Representatives voted against the holiday.

As many thought the fight was over, singer Stevie Wonder released a hit record titled “Happy Birthday” in 1980, which became a rallying cry for the King holiday bill.

He joined Coretta as she handed petitions to Congress with more than 6 million signatures in support of the bill. This time, the holiday passed the House.

After passing the Senate, then-President Ronald Reagan signed the bill into law in 1983, and the first official holiday was observed on the third Monday in January 1986.

Now, the day has joined the league of other three-day weekend federal holidays when the community stops to remember the meaning of the day.

In Redondo, City Hall, both libraries and schools will be closed Monday in observance of the holiday. Banks and postal services will also be closed. And Beach Cities Transit will operate on its weekday service schedule. 

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Tom DeLay, former House majority leader, sentenced to three years in prison – Christian Science Monitor

Tom DeLay was convicted of conspiring to direct laundered money to Republican candidates for the Texas legislature in 2002. The attorneys for Tom DeLay are appealing the conviction.

Washington

From “Dancing with the Stars” to prison – that’s the fate of former US House majority leader Tom DeLay.

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A judge sentenced the former Texas congressman to three years in prison Monday for conspiring to direct laundered corporate money to Texas candidates in 2002. Last November, a jury had also found Mr. DeLay guilty of money laundering, and he accepted 10 years of probation for that in lieu of an additional five years of prison time. In the meantime, his attorneys are appealing the conviction.

DeLay was found guilty of conspiring in 2002 to use his political action committee to send $190,000 in corporate contributions to the Republican National Committee, which then sent the money to candidates for the Texas House. That year, the Republicans gained control of the state legislature for the first time since Reconstruction. That new majority then redrew Texas congressional districts in a way that favored the Republicans. In the next election, 2004, Republicans defeated five Democratic incumbents in the US House.

So even as DeLay contemplates prison, he still takes pride in his political achievements; he insists he did nothing wrong. During his political life, DeLay has always been a bold partisan – his nickname was “The Hammer,” for his ability to enforce party discipline – and not one to shy away from the limelight.

In fall of 2009, DeLay competed in the ninth season of “Dancing with the Stars,” but had to drop out due to an injury. If DeLay winds up behind bars, perhaps he will dust off his dancing shoes and give a few lessons.

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YMCA holds open houses on Oahu – Hawaii News Now

HONOLULU (HawaiiNewsNow) – The YMCA of Honolulu is hosting an island-wide open house at seven branches on Oahu to show its renewed commitment to community-wide health. 

For people seeking a healthier lifestyle as part of their New Year’s resolutions, the YMCA of Honolulu is offering a plan to help individuals achieve their health and wellness goals. 

Members who join the YMCA on January 8 will get a four-week Jumpstart Program, which includes four weeks with a certified personal wellness coach.

 According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only 15 to 20 percent of people stay with their exercise program long enough to see any health benefits.

The Jumpstart Program teaches exercisers how to stick with their health and wellness program by supporting their short and long-term goals, which may include nutrition, exercise, pain and stress management and overall healthy living.

The open house will offer group exercise classes and demonstrations, health-related vendors, family activities, prizes and a special Open House island-wide membership rate

WHEN: Saturday, January 8, 2011, 9:00 AM – 1:00 PM

WHERE: Central YMCA – 401 Atkinson Drive, Contact:  Eric Bautisa, 941-3344

               Kaimuki YMCA – 4835 Kilauea Avenue, Contact:  Debbie Victor, 737-5544

               Kalihi YMCA – 1335 Kalihi Street, Contact:  Steven Kranz, 848-2494

                Leeward YMCA – 94-440 Mokuola Street, Contact:  Keola Taniguchi, 671-6495

                Mililani YMCA – 95-1190 Hikikaulia Street, Contact:  Deborah Thierbach, 625-1040

                Nuuanu YMCA – 1441 Pali Highway, Contact:  Jean Riederer, 536-3556

                Windward YMCA – 1200 Kailua Road, Contact:  Ananda Chou, 261-0808

Copyright Hawaii News Now 2011. All rights reserved.

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Obama Picks William Daley For Chief Of Staff Post – NPR

William Daley, President Obama's pick for White House chief of staff, speaks Thursday while the president looks on. The pick brings a renowned powerbroker on the wavelength of Wall Street into Obama's retooled administration.Enlarge Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images

William Daley, President Obama’s choice for White House chief of staff, speaks Thursday while the president looks on. The pick brings a renowned power broker on the wavelength of Wall Street into Obama’s retooled administration.

Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images

William Daley, President Obama’s choice for White House chief of staff, speaks Thursday while the president looks on. The pick brings a renowned power broker on the wavelength of Wall Street into Obama’s retooled administration.

President Obama on Thursday appointed William M. Daley — a former Clinton administration official and part of the famed Chicago political family — as his new chief of staff, calling him an “experienced public servant.”

Daley, a sometimes ally, sometimes critic of the president, will step into what is traditionally the most influential advisory job in the White House — acting as the president’s day-to-day sounding board, gatekeeper and scheduler.

Daley “possesses a deep understanding of how jobs are created and how to grow our economy,” Obama said at the White House. “Few Americans can boast the breadth of experience that Bill Daley brings to this job.”

Stepping down from the post is Pete Rouse, who has held the job on an interim basis since Rahm Emanuel resigned three months ago as chief of staff to run for mayor of Chicago.

Rouse, who did not want the job permanently and recommended Daley as his replacement, will remain as a counselor to the president, an elevated position from his former job as senior adviser. Daley is expected to start in the next couple of weeks.

Daley is the youngest of the late Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley’s seven children. He is credited with helping his older brother Richard win their father’s old office and hold on to it for the past 22 years.

On the national stage, William Daley helped craft successful campaigns to elect President Clinton and was named commerce secretary under Clinton in 1997.

At the White House announcement on Thursday, Daley thanked the president, praising him for his “proven leadership.”

Daley, who is currently Midwest chairman of JPMorgan Chase & Co., said in an interview with The New York Times last year that the administration had “miscalculated” on health care and moved too far to the left. He has strong centrist credentials and joins the White House just as it finds itself in need of making more bipartisan compromises to get things done.

Word of Daley’s appointment brought praise from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, which has frequently been at odds with the administration.

“This is a strong appointment. Bill Daley is a man of stature and extraordinary experience in government, business, trade negotiations, and global affairs. He’s an accomplished manager and strong leader. We look forward to working with him to accelerate our recovery, grow the economy, create jobs, and tackle America’s global challenges,” Chamber of Commerce President Thomas J. Donohue said in a statement.

The new job will thrust Daley, 62, into the heart of national politics just as Obama adapts to a new reality in Washington. Republicans now control the House and are working to gut his signature health care law, as well as pushing for major cuts in spending.

For Obama, the move comes amid other major shifts in White House staffing — among them the impending departure of White House press secretary Robert Gibbs, who said on Wednesday he would step down by early February. Senior adviser David Axelrod will also be leaving soon, and both of Obama’s deputy chiefs of staff, Jim Messina and Mona Sutphen, are exiting soon. David Plouffe, a key member of Obama’s inner circle as his former presidential campaign manager, will be joining the senior staff of the White House on Monday.

But the chief of staff position is considered the most consuming job in the White House, helping shape nearly everything that the president deals with — how he spends his time, how he pursues his strategies on foreign and domestic policy, how he deals with Congress and the public.

When Obama launched his presidential campaign, the Daley family put aside its deep connections to Bill and Hillary Clinton and endorsed the young Illinois senator. Until then, Obama and the Daleys had operated in mostly separate spheres of Illinois politics. After Obama’s victory, Daley helped oversee the presidential transition.

Daley laid out his political ideology last year upon joining the board of Third Way, a moderate Democratic think tank.

“We must acknowledge that the left’s agenda has not won the support of a majority of Americans — and, based on that recognition, we must steer a more moderate course,” he said at the time.

NPR’s David Schaper and Mara Liasson contributed to this report, which also contains material from The Associated Press

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Jobless fund, redistricting, budget await state legislators – Fort Wayne Journal Gazette

INDIANAPOLIS – There are lots of issues lawmakers want to address in the legislative session that begins Wednesday.

But only a few must be dealt with – crafting a new budget, drawing congressional and state legislative boundaries for the next decade, and trying, yet again, to address a busted unemployment insurance system.

These three topics likely will dominate the General Assembly, which runs through April. Here is a primer detailing the key elements of each debate:

The budget

The state’s 2-year budget ends June 30, and lawmakers must pass a new biennial spending plan before then.

Recent tax collection data show more growth than anticipated, and that should make the job a bit easier. But legislators are still dealing with revenue levels equal to those of five years ago. That means some cuts will need to be made – possibly as much as $500 million – and spending must stay flat.

“It’s definitely our biggest challenge,” said Senate President Pro Tem David Long, R-Fort Wayne. “We are going to have to find a way to do this without raising taxes and while still protecting K-12 education funding.”

A few areas of the budget grow automatically, such as the state’s pension obligations and the ever-increasing Medicaid program, which provides health care to senior citizens, people with disabilities and poor people. That means cuts and efficiencies must be found elsewhere to keep spending down.

Sen. Luke Kenley, R-Noblesville, the chief Senate budget architect and negotiator, said he is considering trimming optional services within Medicaid, such as chiropractors, podiatrists and adult dental services. But federal rules requiring “maintenance of effort” might knock that option off the table.

He said the state can’t cut Medicaid reimbursement rates for providers because they are already so low that the state has trouble finding doctors to participate.

Kenley also said the job of crafting a budget became easier when Republicans gained control of the House by a wide margin of 60-40.

“We start with a pretty similar budget philosophy, so the negotiations are much more narrow,” he said.

Gov. Mitch Daniels likened this budget to the one when he came into office in 2005, noting the first priority is to put the brakes on spending in the aggregate and prioritize within to safeguard education spending.

Democrats will have some say but don’t have the votes in either chamber to block Republican initiatives.

Redistricting

Communities of interest. Nesting. Minority districts.

These are a few of the catchphrases you will hear in coming months as lawmakers use new census data to adjust boundaries for the state’s nine congressional districts, 100 House districts and 50 Senate districts.

The detailed population data needed for the work are expected in late February, which means the process will start late and move fast.

Senators likely will draw maps for that chamber while representatives will craft them for the House. Both will work together on congressional boundaries.

Republicans in both chambers, along with Daniels, are pledging fair maps. But it’s hard to pin down what that means.

“I know a gerrymandered map when I see it. Those aren’t hard to spot,” the governor said. “I know what won’t work. My role is referee – just saying ‘don’t bring something to me that is obviously unacceptable.’ ”

Daniels and others say the current maps were drawn for political advantage. This means using voting patterns to draw safe or solid districts for one party or the other.

Long said in general terms he wants the districts to better follow geographic lines and communities of interest, and changes can’t dilute minority representation.

He also said he will consider incumbent addresses in the process – something that is sometimes criticized as a way of ensuring that incumbents don’t end up in the same district.

But Long said the U.S. Supreme Court has signed off on this factor as proper.

“Having the person you voted for remaining a representative is a proper consideration,” he said. “I can’t say every incumbent will be protected, but it’s not wrong to consider it. People should not automatically feel that’s wrong.”

Daniels said redistricting might be the toughest of the big three issues to get approved.

“People are only human,” he said, noting the inclination to make changes to their benefit.

Jobless insurance

Lawmakers will take a third swing at fixing the state’s deficit-ridden unemployment insurance system.

“It is not an unsolvable problem,” Daniels said, noting that businesses will likely have to pay more and some adjustments will have to be made to benefits.

Businesses pay taxes into an unemployment insurance trust fund based on their history of layoffs and the taxable wages of their employees. That fund then pays unemployment benefits when Hoosier employees are laid off. Indiana has had a structural imbalance in the fund – paying out more than it collected – since 2000. The imbalance was eating into the state’s trust fund surplus even before the recession hit and consumed all the funds. Indiana started borrowing money from the federal government to pay claims in late 2008 and currently owes about $2 billion.

Legislators in 2009 passed a whopping tax increase for businesses to start paying in 2010. But lawmakers in 2010 decided to delay the increase because they feared higher taxes would discourage job creation.

Businesses are now mandated to begin paying the tax increase in April.

But Republicans want to revisit the problem to find a way to pay about $60 million in interest owed to the federal government.

Rep. Dan Leonard, R-Huntington, is the chief negotiator on the topic for the House Republicans. He said talks have been ongoing, and legislators hope to phase in the tax increase more slowly. To pay for that change, benefits will be decreased for some workers, saving $150 million a year. Lawmakers also are expected to institute a special surcharge on businesses to pay the interest owed.

Leonard said the maximum weekly unemployment benefit of $390 probably won’t change and those currently eligible should remain so.

The only difference would be in how the benefit is calculated. Currently, a person’s benefit is based on the highest quarter of recent earnings, and Leonard and others want to move to an annualized calculation.

“We have a $2 billion hole to fill, and we are trying to do it as painlessly as possible,” he said.

Rep. David Niezgodski, D-South Bend, will be a key negotiator for the Democrats, who will focus on making sure unemployed workers are not hurt.

“I know times are extremely tough and we have to have respect for businesses, but the reality is this thing went on for so long with nothing done that it is hard for me to now lay it on the shoulders of the unemployed,” he said.

nkelly@jg.net

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HGTV Dream Home 2011 is located near skiing slopes in Vermont – Digital News Report

HGTV Dream Home 2011

HGTV Dream Home 2011 in Stowe, Vermont

Digital News Report – This year the HGTV Dream Home 2011 is in Stowe, Vermont. Each year, the HGTV cable television channel builds a dream house to giveaway each year. They have built a total of 15 homes with luxury houses in New Mexico, California, and now in Vermont. Each home is uniquely designed for the area and this year it is all about skiing and the outdoors. You can enter daily for a chance to win the HGTV Dream Home sweepstakes now until February 18, 2011 until 5 pm ET.

The HGTV dream house giveaway is in the hills of Vermont right next to skiing slopes. That is why they built in a ski dorm and bathrooms for having guests come to stay for the weekend. This home could be easily become a person’s dream luxury vacation home.

HGTV is airing on their network tours of the Vermont dream home for 2011. You can see all the unique details that have been built into the home including all the great appliances and décor. You can also tour the HGTV Dream Home 2011 online at their website, plus you can also get a tour on their HGTV television channel (see TV schedule below). There are also in person tours beginning on January 7, 2011, of the luxury home. If you are in the area it costs $20 per person plus a $2 processing fee to see the house in person.

There are also additional prizes included of $500,000 and a new 2011 GMC Acadia Denali automobile. To enter you must be at least 21 years old and be a citizen of the United States. You can enter for free at HGTV.com once per day. The total value of the home and everything is at $2.5 million. The website to enter is at hgtv.com.

By Victoria Brown

Here is airing times for the HGTV Dream Home 2011 Tour on their television channel

Date Air
Times it will Air
01/01/11
1:00 PM e/p , 9:00 PM e/p,12:00 AM e/p
01/02/11
5:00 PM e/p,
01/10/11
6:00 PM e/p
01/19/11
2:00 PM e/p
01/28/11
11:00 PM e/p, 2:00 AM e/p

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A new year and a fresh start – Telegraph.co.uk

I recently came across a formula for successful change: D + V + F > R. For any change to work, our D (dissatisfaction with the status quo), V (vision for a better future) and F (first steps that are doable) have to be greater than R (our resistance). Apply that to our New Year resolutions and for us to succeed, we need to be clear with ourselves as to “why” we want the change to happen, we need to envisage “what” will be different and we need to plan the “how” (with small, measurable steps).

I would add an S for support to the formula. It is a great help to have someone (whether it is a friend, spouse or coach) to give us encouragement, accountability and the odd kick up the backside when needed.

I also think we need to cut ourselves some slack and not give up at the first sign of failure. Too many of us take the “all or nothing” approach to resolutions and we therefore surrender at the first bite of forbidden chocolate cake, a missed gym appointment or a budget overspend. It is good to remember that change is a process and it is OK to mess up. The important thing is to give yourself another chance until the change you want to make becomes a habit.

So I’ll let you into a secret. I don’t make resolutions any more. Instead, I use the whole of January to take stock. My husband David and I go into a form of hibernation. We decline invitations (not that there are many in January), don’t entertain and we quit watching DVDs. With the spare time that we gain, we focus on getting our house in order, thinking through our priorities and deciding what we want the year ahead to be about.

We also use the time to give ourselves a quick relationship MOT. We check on how we are doing as a couple and also reflect on whether we are giving enough time to the most important people in our lives.

Perhaps as 2010 draws to a close, you, too, may want to reflect on your relationships. If you haven’t read it, my book, Authentic: Relationships from the Inside Out, is a good way to give your relationships a general check-up. But if you want to get started now, here are 10 points you could do to make a positive investment in your relationships. Try one or all 10, and I’m certain you will see healthy returns from all your efforts.

1. Take time to work out your priorities. Too often we spend time on the urgent at the expense of the important and we find our loved ones are left with the dregs of our time, energy and focus. Why not decide who or what is most important to you and make sure that they are getting the attention they need? It may sound contrived, but booking in time in your diary with your favourite people is the only way to make sure that the days or weeks don’t pass without you spending quality time together.

2. Increase your amount of “face-to-face” time. Next time you are tempted to email your work colleague at the next desk or text your friend who lives around the corner, resolve to talk to them in person.

3. Limit your criticisms. If you have something negative to say to someone, make sure you match it with at least five positive points. Negative comments stick much longer than nice ones, so you need to input a lot more positive ones if you don’t want the balance of your relationship to go into the red.

4. Learn from your anger. Anger is like an alarm system: it is telling you something is wrong. Pay attention to it and ask yourself what is the cause. Is it something someone has done to you or is it indicating a problem within yourself that you need to look at? Sometimes our anger tells us more about ourselves than the apparent target of our wrath.

5. Practise being a good listener. When we really listen to another person, we offer them a great gift. It demonstrates that we want to understand them better. If someone tells you something important, try to refrain from interrupting, giving advice or bringing the topic back to “you”.

6. Take responsibility for your actions. When relationships go wrong, it can be tempting to blame the other person and to focus on all the ways that they need to change. The truth is we cannot make another person change, but we can alter our own reactions and behaviour. It only takes one to change the dynamic in a relationship.

7. Be prepared to say, “I’m sorry” – and mean it. It can be a hard to admit when we’re wrong or when we’ve messed up, but when we do – it opens the door to healing in relationships and also to greater depth.

8. Show your appreciation. No ones likes to be taken for granted and most people can’t mind-read, so if you are thankful that someone is in your life or for the things they have done for you, tell them. Even better write them a proper letter – one with a pen – so that they can keep it and re-read it.

9. Take the initiative. Whatever change you want to see in your relationships, start by taking the initiative. If you want your partner to love you better, then show them love in the way they would like to receive it. If you are single and want to go on a date, ask someone out. If you are lonely, reach out to someone else who also might be feeling lonely. In other words, treat others, as you would like to be treated.

10. Let your “no” be “no” and your “yes” be “yes”. If you say, “yes” to something – to helping out, to keeping a confidence or to taking the rubbish out – keep your word. And if you are someone who says “yes” when you really mean “no”, then don’t give an answer under pressure. Tell the person that you’ll think about it and then get back to them. Too many relationships suffer and too many people get stressed because they cannot say “no”. If that is you, saying “no” more often could be this year’s resolution.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for all your support, questions and letters and also to let you know that, sadly, this will be the final InsideOut column in the paper. From the new year, it will be moving online. I do hope you will join me there and that you will continue to contribute with your questions, comments and advice.

Wishing you all a very happy New Year.

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Big Chill at the Big House action begins at 3 p.m. – AnnArbor.com

Posted: Dec 11, 2010 at 2:38 PM [Today]

BIG-CHILL-TAILGATE.jpg

Allen Spencer of South Haven pours hot spiked apple cider into a cup at a tailgate near Main Street.

Angela J. Cesere | AnnArbor.com

Bundle up – although it’s not that cold today – and keep track of the Big Chill at the Big House action at Michigan Stadium with our coverage today of a world record crowd of about 109,000 for a hockey game.

The Michigan State at Michigan hockey game begins at 3 p.m. (Fox Sports Detroit), and we’ll update this file throughout the game.

Join our live chat: Michael Rothstein and Rich Rezler lead the conversation

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Afternoon Fix: Elizabeth Edwards has died, President Obama defends tax-cut … – Washington Post (blog)

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EARLIER ON THE FIX

The anger of Barack ObamaLive-blogging the Obama press conferenceWhy President Obama cut a deal on taxesDoes President Obama have a liberal problem?Georgia Democrats Barrow and Bishop confront an uncertain redistricting fateJoe Biden heads to the Hill to talk taxes

FIRST ON THE FIX

* 2010 Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee executive director Jon Vogel and Democratic consultant Steve Murphy will be starting their own media firm, sources tell the Fix.

WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED

* Elizabeth Edwards, RIP.

* At a White House press conference, a visibly angry President Obama defended the tax-cut deal he hammered out with congressional Republicans, calling the debate over the cuts “the public option debate all over again.”

* National Republican Senatorial Committee Chairman John Cornyn (Texas) penned a fundraising email in which he claims that Obama’s tax-cut compromise was the result of the GOP’s sweeping midterm gains. Wrote Cornyn: “President Obama’s decision yesterday to join with Republicans in opposing the largest tax increase in American history was made not because he had a sudden change in political or economic philosophy.”

* Mississippi Republican National Committeman Henry Barbour announced that he is backing Wisconsin Republican Party Chairman Reince Priebus for Republican National Committee chairman. “Reince understands the job. He has the vision to help us grow and strengthen our Party, and, finally, he has the energy and enthusiasm to do the job the way it must be done,” Barbour wrote.

* A day after its preferred candidate, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R), announced that she will not run for RNC chair, Tea Party Nation has endorsed former Michigan Republican Party Chairman Saul Anuzis.

WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T MISS

* The Cook Political Report has released its initial 2012 ratings for House and Senate races.

* Cheshire County Republican Party Chair Juliana Bergeron has announced that she will run to succeed John Sununu as New Hampshire Republican Party chair. A new chairman will be elected at the GOP state committee’s annual meeting on Jan. 22.

* The Susan B. Anthony List and Americans for Tax Reform will host a debate among the candidates for RNC chairman at the National Press Club on Jan. 3, 2011.

* House Democrats hold their caucus meeting at 6:30 p.m. tonight. Will any consensus on the tax-cut deal emerge, or will those opposed continue to dig in their heels?

* A new poll by Democratic-leaning automated pollster Public Policy Polling shows Sen. Amy Klobuchar’s (D-Minn.) approval rating at 59 percent. The survey also shows that Klobuchar would lead any one of five potential Republican challengers in her 2012 re-election bid.

THE FIX MIX

Have a very Basil Christmas.

With Felicia Sonmez and Aaron Blake

By Chris Cillizza  | December 7, 2010; 5:02 PM ET Categories:  Afternoon Fix   Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: The anger of Barack Obama

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